Honestly, the slots are pulling me in. Not in the desperate way of a chronic vegas roller, but in the desperate way of a not wealthy someone hoping to get lucky. With this mild addiction comes a not very mild case of the travel bug. I endlessly flip through travel magazines, occasionally reading the articles but mainly looking at the crazy, vibrant pictures of a world that seems so different from my current home. Although I (currently) live in the destination ski capital of the US, the grass is way greener on the other side of the pond. It seems not to matter if I make the big bucks right now, but that may be a terrible decision towards my future if I get to be 35, have no permanent job and no savings. But is that pretty bad? Its kind of like living in a 3rd world country as you get old. Which actually doesn’t sound ideal.
I think my previous education may have been a 5 year and $80,000 waste of my time. The things that I think about doing right now are not with physics very much at all. When people ask where I see myself in 10 years, I have had no good answer, but the reality is that I see myself sitting in a well-lit conference room. I am at the head of a table directing a smart and creative group of people. I am their leader and I am very good at leading. That is the only place that I see myself.
When I daydream of my future, I imagine going to school for architecture, traveling around to incredible sites, and creating some of my own. I see myself studying neuroscience and the psychology of human nature. I see myself sitting in a house that was built with me in mind painting on a canvas in a room filled with knickknacks. I see myself writing an incredibly cerebral work of fiction. I see myself doing all these things, but not working on an engineering project.
I think I probably need a new goal, and I will have Einat to eventually help me with that. Part of my life also depends on what Shane will be doing in the future, but we can work it out. Like Einat said, this is an adventure. I am still smart no matter if I am working at a huge company making the big bucks right now or not. I am going to go with the flow of this adventure for the next year and re-evaluate in the future. Goal: Live life and be happy.